So You Think Florida Weather Is “Nice?”
Don’t be jealous.
All the time, my non-Floridian friends tell me how jealous they are of how lucky I am to live in Florida. “You have palm trees,” “You have endless summers,” “You have the beach,” and every other Florida perk is recited to me each time we talk, ever. Yeah, Florida is alright, and it definitely wins in the Winter department by not submerging us in piles of snow and below freezing temperatures, but it isn’t the “paradise” all non-Floridians seem to look at it as. This state brings about just as many annoying weather downfalls as any other state. In my eyes, Florida sucks, but that’s because I’ve lived here forever.
*prepare to have all your Florida-dreaming hearts broken*
Florida is Painfully Hot 75% of the Year
Yeah, we may have a winter that doesn’t reach below 40 degrees, and we may get to wear bathing suits a little more frequently than the average Northerner, but we also get to endure the fury of an almost year-long summer. And this heat isn’t nice, California gets 70 degree weather, but this is heat 85 degrees and above. For a good majority of the time between April and November, you can’t get into your car without suffering heat-shocks from your boiling upholstery, step outside without sweating, or ever feel 100% comfortable when wearing your one pair of pants when you’re trying to look nice. Yeah, we have beaches and warmer weather than other states, but those beach trips aren’t as glamorous as they can be made out to be. Laying out takes some major heat tolerance, and the heat may just put you to sleep so that the sun can silently fry you like a piece of bacon. We literally get one month of a solid winter, half to one month of a lovely spring, and then jump right to summer. It’s only April, and I’ve already become drenched in sweat trying to walk to my car from class.
Florida Can’t Decide What Weather Forecast to Stick With
So don’t forget to pack an umbrella, a sweater, rain boots, and an extra shirt all for one day. One hour could bring about a lovely sunshine, and the next could bring about an unexpected monsoon. One day it may be a little chilly, and the next day it Is right back to the humid heat from hell. Watching the forecast can sometimes be helpful at times, but you’d be safer to bet on an unexpected thunderstorm on a day forecasted with 90% chance of clear skies than to depend on a forecast saying it’ll be below 70 degrees all week. At least us Floridians are always prepared for the unexpected.
Florida is a Seasonal-Allergy Sufferer’s Own Personal Hell
If only I could have a camera follow me and the rest of my fellow allergy sufferers around. Not only are infrequent, unpredictable weather conditions irritating, but they are equivalent to having a feather stuck up your nose. And let’s not forget the pollen. Yeah, those beautiful trees and flowers and other misleading Florida shrubbery are equipped with yellow dust that’s sole purpose is to make makeup and dry eyes an impossible goal. If you are as unlucky as myself to be a frequent sufferer of allergy attacks, get ready to invest a lot of money on tissues. You may also want to give up on looking like a normal person for a good chunk of the year, because you will probably have red, swollen eyes for a good majority of it.
I may be a bitter little Florida girl, but I know that Florida is not always what the postcards make it out to be. Don’t be fooled by the movies and misleading pictures you find all over your news feed, we cherish those rare days of all-day clear skies and below 95 degree weather just as much as the next tourist.
