How To Tell When Finals Are Approaching
There are some things about life and our functional capabilities that change when the last week of the semester approaches with finals. We are no longer people, we become these student robots that complete insane amounts of work that we put off or didn’t prepare for, and we do it under the craziest circumstances.
You Have No Idea What’s Going On In the World
In my attempts to be a good student, I make an effort to avoid the TV and all other portals of entertainment. As a result of that, I’m minimally informed of all things that have to do with my surroundings. For all I know, the world revolves around finals, textbooks, study guides, and what ever it is that I’m taking that semester. I don’t know what the news is covering, what the weather will be like tomorrow, or what the newest Hollywood scandal is. My next trip to happy hour isn’t going to stimulate much conversation that isn’t related to school or how sleep deprived I am.
You Forget What a Normal Time for a Meal Is
You mean… 10:30pm is considered “late” for dinner? Between studying, the stress of finals, and a ridiculously messed up schedule, your anxiety levels and appetite only induce hunger when absolutely necessary. Once you get into your grind, food somehow becomes your last concern, and you truly forget to eat. If you’re not rereading a chapter or chugging a pot of coffee, you want to be sleeping. If you need sustenance, you’re more likely to snack because it takes less time. That’s why when the clock strikes 11 and you’re finally done with your first round of cramming, you FINALLY feel that pang of hunger for something more filling than a bag of trail mix.
You Confuse Being Caffeinated With Being Awake
Whether it’s tea or coffee, your dependency on caffeine will reach an all time high simultaneously when your clocked sleep hours reach an all time low. Because of this, you start to forget what it feels like to be functioning on enough sleep. Caffeine starts to take the place of naps, and continuous consumption will keep you awake and doing what you need to do. Before you know it, you’ll be running errands and holding conversations just as functionally as if you had gotten a full night of sleep, and you’ll actually feel like caffeine is just as helpful as rest, perhaps even more so. More hours to be awake and get things done? SIGN ME UP. Who cares if we start shaking randomly or become dependent on something that stains our teeth.
Dropping Out a Week Before Graduation Seems Less Bad
Everything seems to always pile up more than you expected during these last two weeks of the semester, no matter how much you prepared. For this very reason, you’ll start to consider how bad life really could be without a degree. Could you be happy working as a server forever instead of going to grad school? Is working in a cubical at a corporate office for endless hours REALLY that awful? Is hoping to marry rich honestly THAT pathetic? When you have multiple papers due, two finals on the same day, and group project deadlines all within the same week, these questions won’t seem so ridiculous.
Cleaning Is Both a Time Waster and Completely Useless
I’ve never enjoyed cleaning my kitchen more than when I have things to do, yet at the same time, I’ll become completely cool with sleeping on a pile of laundry in the midst of a never-ending agenda. Facebook and Youtube are no longer enough in the game of procrastination, and you’re left to turn to cleaning as a means of study breaks and time wasting. However, somehow nothing ever is 100% clean. It’s the strangest thing. I’ll feel like I’ve cleaned more than ever, yet my apartment, car, and backpack will be the messiest it’s ever been.
We might as well walk around with a “Do Not Disturb” sign around our neck until finals are finished. Sorry Mom and Dad, but we won’t be making you as proud this week.