How to Be Perfect: Pubic Hair
Welcome to How To Be Perfect; a no-nonsense advice* column from two women who know everything.
*We are “lifestyle experts” who have been trained by women’s magazines, men’s magazines, tabloids, celeb gossip and reality TV in the ways of the world. Advice need not be “good” in order for it to count as advice. Take it or leave it though you should probably leave it.
Today’s Query: Do men like women to have no pubic hair or hardly in their pubic region? I have dabbled in different styles but it’s hard to know what the men of today really want. Can you get away with just a trimmed bush?
This is America, sweetie, land of variety! There is no one-coochie-fits-all here. It depends on the kind of man you want to get with:
Is he a frat boy?
Then I’d say go the full porno- all bare. These men have had their sexual norms almost exclusively informed by pornography. They won’t know what to do with a full bush, not that it matters much, because they also learned to eat pussy in porn. Which means it lasts two seconds, is unnecessarily aggressive, and really just for show. This really goes for any “bro” type.
Going for a foreign man?
Then, for goodness sake’s stay au naturale. Foreign men are the opposite of the frat boy, they’d rather NOT sleep with a woman who’s hooha is too meticulously manicured, they like it wild! Don’t even trim it. It should look like you have a small fern in crotch when you wear leggings. Bonus, these men will still perform cunnilingus, and it’s usually the good kind! Meaning, they actually try to make you orgasm. I recommend doing at least one man like this, for your mental health.
Want a suave player type?
Then you better get waxed, with a nice landing strip or cute bermuda triangle. You see, going all bare is actually easier than this, because you can just sloppily shave your mound for all bare, but this man wants a lady as vain as he is. He wants to know you hired another person to put their face close enough to your vulva just to shape the hair down there. Because you’re worth it!
Whatever you do, don’t go by what you like the best, you gotta choose according to man type. I mean, what do YOU really know about your own vagina?
Oh Bunny, you hit the nail on the head, girlfriend. I just have a couple of things to add. First, I feel the need to issue a serious WARNING: foreign men have a little something extra down there themselves. You’ll find out just what it is.
And second, some more flamboyant playa-playa guys LOVE the Buttdazzle. Make your butt hole look perfect for him with a ring of swarovski crystals on its circumference. Sure it’s crazy uncomfortable but it shows EFFORT.