How To Be Perfect: Being Elitist
Don’t be an elitist jerk about your pathetic job.
Welcome to How To Be Perfect; a no-nonsense advice* column from two women who know everything.
*We are “lifestyle experts” who have been trained by women’s magazines, men’s magazines, tabloids, celeb gossip and reality TV in the ways of the world. Advice need not be “good” in order for it to count as advice. Take it or leave it though you should probably leave it.
Today’s Query: I am a recent college grad but have found work in my field to be scarce. As such I’ve found work in the meantime bagging groceries. My problem is when people either recognize me or find out I have a degree they ask me why am I bagging groceries? Now I don’t think I’m better than the people I work with, but I worked really hard for my diploma and hate that I’m not using it. I don’t want to come off as an elitist jerk, but how can I let people know this job is not indicative of who I am?
Bunny’s Advice:
Ew, you work in a grocery store? I bet your hands are all rough, and you get paper cuts up your arms from the bags. Gross.
Anyway, I’m not sure you can help coming off like an elitist jerk, because what kind of person worries about this when they are probably working next to someone who didn’t finish high school? Unless you are working at one of those trendy, upscale groceries and are just whining because you’re afraid people will make fun of you?
Who gives a fuck about your degree? You’re bagging groceries now, man! I guess all that hard work in school didn’t pay dividends in telling you how to get a decent damn job. I mean, we all know the system is a perfectly set up meritocracy where everyone’s station in life is reflective of how valuable they are as people.
Does hard work still mean something if it gets you nowhere but where could you be without it? I dunno, lol.
Also, you don’t specify what field you’re in, which leads me to suspect it’s in a real stupid one. Well, serves you right for studying to be something so goddamn lofty. Maybe next time don’t waste all your time and money in school on an industry that will be futile in a few short years after the Rapture. You know what humans always need? Doctors. Smart science people. Cult leaders. People who invent awesome things. There’s always jobs for ACTUAL useful trades. Like advice giving.
Basically, boo hoo, you made this bed, stop whining like a little baby, STFU and appreciate the fuck out of that job you have.
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Ruby’s Advice:
Bunny is right, it IS embarrassing for you to be working in a grocery store. If it were me, I’d just duck and cover any time I saw someone I knew! But, hey, that’s just me, a weak, emotional girl. You’re a strong man, or at least you should be.
Strong men, aka REAL men(tm), don’t get put off by embarrassing or difficult situations. They muscle through them without feeling anything! I disagree with Bunny on one thing, though. You’re not a baby. Your ample neuroses make me think you might be questioning your sexuality. Which is fine, but it makes my advice to you very different.
Assuming that my female intuition is correct, I would mostly worry about how cute your butt is looking, cause hey, maybe a sugar daddy will come pay off your debts. If I am wrong, I’d do your best to NEVER tell anyone about these feelings. If someone does come at you with a question, shoot him a grimace that says, “you and me, out in the alley, now!”
Hell, it’s not like your job is that demanding, I’m sure you have time to take him out back and give him a few punches to the gut. Not only will your hostility deter more questioning, but it’ll make you look very alpha despite your pathetic job.
