“Are We Forgetting How to Love?” A Response


We’re at peace with knowing that what we don’t yet know we can and will learn.

I noticed another Elite Daily article go viral on my Facebook feed, and I felt obliged to check it out. If a good chunk of your friends share the same thing, it’s got to be good, right?
The article was titled “10 Reasons Our Generation Is Losing the Ability to Love,” written by Paul Hudson. It listed off various reasons as to why my generation is apparently fading away into the unknown, reasons being our apparent fascination with instant gratification (true), our beliefs in fairytale endings (I guess), our love for drugs (hey now), our sleeping around habits (umm..), and our belief in perfection. I read it, enjoyed it, but removed my gaze from the last word feeling like I just read an article about why 20 year olds aren’t entirely familiar with this game of love, AND it felt like a piece that a 20-something could have written in any generation.
I honestly don’t see how it is OUR generation that is losing the ability to love, rather that it is our age group that hasn’t figured it out yet. I don’t think that a lot of the reasons the author stated were something new to human behavior, in age or time.

You’ve Got a Point

To start, I do believe instant gratification is a problem with our generation and the ones to follow. Technology IS a problem when it comes to matters like social interaction and quick-access applications. We can have an entire conversation with our fingers touching a screen, and we can order our food by pressing a button on a computer while we sit on our asses at home. But if that becomes an issue in relationships, I think it will just become a harder lesson to learn in due time.

Invalid Influences

As for drugs, sex habits, and our inability to compromise, I think that just comes with the age. Never have I been told that the last 20 years have been consumed with more drugs than ever, nor have I heard that we are the sex monsters of all time, or that kids back in the day were less likely to be selfish.
Do you (not me, I wasn’t alive) remember the 90’s? The 80’s? The 70’s? Even the 60’s? Drugs were a part of all of those. There’s a reason that 70’s show always had a smoke circle. We link the 90’s to ecstasy, the 80’s to cocaine, the 70’s to heroine, the 60’s to LSD, and the 50’s to alcohol (which has consistently been around). This day and age may be all about our not-so-good friend Molly, the capsule version of the love guru, but that doesn’t mean we are the only ones with a warped perception of our feelings, and that we are the ONLY ones that drugs get the best of our judgment calls. In regards to sex and compromise, I honestly believe that this is all dependent on the person. The saying “Sex, Drugs, and Rock’n’Roll” didn’t just come out after “bae” became the new babe.

Too Young To Know, Not Screwed Because of Timing

And as for our views on love itself, what the hell do we know? How can I know if I’m “bad at loving” if I’ve only been alive for 22 years? Maybe some of us do believe in a fairy tale ending, but isn’t that everyone with a degree of imagination? I don’t think the presence of more Disney Princess stories or reality shows has made us any more diluted to the reality of love than those who grew up reading romantic novels. If it’s perfection we strive for because of these false representations of love, that’s just something we’ll have to learn in time does not exist.
I don’t think we as a generation have lost the ability to learn from past mistakes, and are so ignorant to ignore the wisdom of our elders. It’s the ignorance of being 20 and above that make us think we know everything, and it’s the reality of being in our 20’s that we can’t seem to get anything right. It’s because we’re new to the world of marriage, the world of parenthood, the world of adulthood, the world of business and success.

I’ll Figure It Out

The article was well written, and I agree with every point made, but only when I remove the idea that these reasons justify an entire generation’s ability to love. In my eyes, these reasons explain why people of my age group can’t seem to get it together. Now, if someone born 50 years ago wrote this, I’d be worried for myself and my surrounding crowd. But, I refuse to believe that I am a part of a generation that can’t find love. I know I’ve messed up multiple times, sometimes because of current factors like technology and sometimes because of my sheer lack of experience in this world. I’m not incapable of understanding that a compromise is necessary in a functional relationship, I’m just stubborn and not ready to let go of my “well I’m only 22” excuse.

Rachel Jimenez

An Exercise Science major at USF with a love for dance, food, and sarcastic banter. Oh, and she was gluten free before it was cool. instagram: @sassycalves twitter: @itsraayy

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