All the Single Ladies [and Dudes] Put Your Hands UP!
There seems to be two distinct paths that us 20 something’s are left to venture on at the nearing end of our college career: settling down in a relationship or continuing on in our never ending job hunt as a single individual. I feel like if I haven’t snagged a relationship already, I’m doomed to a life of nights to myself and get togethers with my other college friends.
It seems to be that time in life where young lovers start to go their own way, get married, start a family, and enter into the world of adulthood that seems to be completely blocked from us singles. We may be the same age with the same bachelors degree, but that one element of our lives (a boyfriend/girlfriend) seems to separate us into two different types of “adults.”
I’m A Relatively Attractive Girl
I’m asked ALL THE TIME why I don’t have a boyfriend. Even I wonder this some times. I date, I get bored, and I move on. I watch my friends walk right into these perfect relationships whilst I can’t seem to make it past two dates with a guy. I frequently just ask myself, “what the hell is wrong with you? Why can’t you stop being so selective and stubborn?”
My friends and I often talk about how we seem to be the only people in the world that can’t get into a relationship. We talk as if we have some defect while we have a degree almost completed, a healthy lifestyle, a fun spirit, and pretty faces. What is it about us single girls (and guys) of the world that seem so good yet so unattainable/in a single slump?
It Isn’t Our Time
It’s cliche, but we are not ready for a life filled with “we’s” and “us” and “you and I” yet. We are very much in a relationship with ourselves, and we are so loyal to that very commitment that we don’t allow ourselves to become open to anyone else. We are our prize possession, our “bae,” our number one priority, and there’s nothing wrong with that. There is NOTHING wrong with being selfish at this point in our lives.
Those that are in relationships allowed for them to happen. They aren’t any more appealing, any less independent, or any more attractive then us. They simply let someone come into their lives and allow for them to hold value in their life.
We, being all of us singles, aren’t ready for that. We’re still very much involved with ourselves; learning to love ourselves to as much as we deserve, and progressing through life at the exact rate that we are meant to be moving through. Perhaps “Prince Charming” or the “Perfect 10” surprises us and sweeps us off our feet? I like to think of that as a very rare occurrence; for if not, I’d start to get very discouraged by now.
The argument that we cannot manage to get into a relationship is completely incorrect because there is absolutely no way offers aren’t flung before you from time to time. Choosing not to reciprocate that message on Tinder or respond to a smile from that person across the gym is entirely your choice.
This Whining and Pouting About Being Single Needs To Stop
There is nothing wrong with being single. Looking at other singles and wondering what could possibly be wrong with them won’t do you any good because you’ll basically be looking in a mirror.
No, you are not a pathetic and unwanted person. No, you are not doing something wrong by not being wifed up by age 22. And no, you should not settle for the next person just because the world won’t stop giving you shit about being single or you’re sick of being single on Valentine’s Day. You’re single, you’re awesome, and you’re doing you. Own it, honey.