Why Do Nice Guys Always Finish Last?
You’ve heard the term, “nice guys finish last,” right? Of course you have. It’s the motto for the single, and probably best group of guys out there. The guys I’m talking about literally have nothing wrong with them. They’re generally attractive, funny, and smart, pretty much what any logical person would describe as the ideal package. But, there’s a reason they’re single.
Why Are Nice Guys Under The Radar?
I’ve been trying to come up with explanations for a long time because I am faced with this question every day. Whether it be written words or a matter of observation, I constantly watch nice guys fall under the radar while (excuse my French) douchebags attract girls like moths to a flame. OR, ladies like myself strut around with a giant “independent soul that doesn’t need your company” sticker on their foreheads. It’s a confusing thing to witness good girls turn towards a dead-end romance/solo life and to see great guys constantly face rejection. Seeing it happen day after day can really make one question what girls see (or don’t see) in these suitable guys.
Maybe it’s the silly “bad boys.” Those guys that seem “so wrong” yet “so right”, they’re the ones that you know will not teach you anything meaningful but will be one of the most memorable chapters in your young life. Not only do these boys seem like super fun people to be around, they are normally ridiculously good looking *makes Zoolander face*, have young spirits, and require little to no brain power to talk to. Whoever said that girls feel like they need to change these “bad boys” is completely wrong. These boys should stay exactly as they are: unavailable, simple, and fun. It’s silly to say, but when a girl is busy, especially in college, the last thing a girl wants is something else she needs to figure out. Butterflies, feelings, future thinking, they all seem repulsive. Why? Because it’s going to be work. It’s something that she’d have to sacrifice time towards in order to understand this new “thing,” whatever it may be. On top of school, work, self-discovery, and endless transitions into maturity, why would an emotional roller coaster seem like a good addition to the mind fuck?
Fear Of Something Good
This might be the fear of something good. If a girl has been treated poorly before, than anything better should seem wonderful, but it’s not. It’s terrifying. Take dates, for example. A girl may have settled with silly dates that took little thought or money, and therefore found comfort in this mediocre relationship simply because she liked the guy so much. So when a new “nice guy” comes along with gifts and dates to shower her with, she is offset by the unfamiliar kindness.
Fear Of Losing Autonomy
Then, there are the girls that have no negative history at all, the ones that have nothing bad to recall. These are the “independent” girls, and they are presumably the most complicated to figure out. I’ll tell you one thing though, anything that a nice guy will try to do that she feels she can do herself will be seen as something threatening, unwelcome, and undesired. In my opinion, it will make the girl feel like she is losing autonomy. After trying to function like this for so long, this can be the most toxic thing to ever happen to her.
It’s Not You, It’s Me
It seems to me that whole “nice guys finish last” idea is more of a lesson for us girls than it is for the guys. It doesn’t matter whether or not we see these men in the space around us, if we aren’t ready to open up past our comfort zone, then these men might as well be invisible. So, I could totally use the overly-used cliché “it’s not you, it’s me” phrase and apply it to this situation, because it works. Instead, I want to conclude my ramble of ideas with this: stay nice, nice guys. We’ll learn eventually.