The Weekend Cipha on That Flag, USWNT, Cosby, Serena
The Saturday Cipha is where I recap what topics you were Killing The Breeze on in the past week.
That Flag Came Down
Answering the question of whether racism is now over, that flag is now is often invoked. I think the flag coming down contributes more towards that goal of eradicating racism than having it proudly flying. I will never understand the allegiance to a flag associated with people who took up arms against the United States, but isn’t honoring it in a museum more than enough? I mean we did beat them right? Do we honor the Mexico, Spain, Japan, Germany, Italy, Panama or any other state that declared war against the United States the way we do the Confederate States of America? Do Americans of Mexican, Spanish, Japanese, German, Italian or Panamanian descent demand we honor their flags because it represents their “pride” or “heritage”? Come on.
The double standard seems to be clear when it comes to domestic violence and male and female abusers. Men seem to be automatically bad no questions asked as we covered in our “Is This Ok?” podcast. Self defense, in most cases, is not accepted without a deadly weapon of some sort. I agree with this.
If the abuser is female, there seems to be a grieving process society goes through that is not even considered for male abusers. First, there is denial. “It’s just his account”, and “we don’t really know what happened” are often invoked.
Then there is anger. “Look at the numbers, men are always beating women” While this is definitely true, not condemning or rebuking female abusers as we do males sends a confusing message on equality.
Then there is bargaining. Can’t we just excuse the female abuser’s coworkers, boss and employer for not addressing the incident in any significant manner?
Next, is depression. What will be lost by highlighting this ugly event amongst a great and euphoric moment for our country and for women? My guess is nothing and the march towards equality for all continues forward (which is even a greater reason to do it if we are looking at advancing a cause that does see more women as victims), but I do hope we strive to hold all people accountable for their words and actions.
Finally, there is acceptance. It happened, but I never heard about it or I still cheered for them. Thus, we have our double standard meaning it’s clear we still have a lot to do in this area.
I think Bill Cosby has made a lot of men review their sexual histories. People are probably finding out they are mild sexual assaulters or rapists. Consent is tricky, but here’s my rule. If I don’t hear “yes”, “put it in”, or “fuck me”, then it’s a no go. Consent does not mean “she didn’t say no,” and it’s not something you have to guess at nor only have a part of it. Either you have consent or you don’t. If you’re not sure, then that means you don’t and shouldn’t proceed under such circumstances. Additionally, rape and sexual assault are not confined to children, dark alleys nor complete strangers. Rape and sexual assault can look like Dr. Huxtable giving you something that will make yo feel better oyu feel better.
In spite of Serena Williams’ dominance, she is still reviled by many and there exists in earnings a great disparity when compared to tennis’ top earner by endorsements, Maria Sharapova. Given the complicated history both women’s tennis and Madison Avenue have with race, it is easy to make that conclusion. While I believe the disparity is rooted in race, there are also issues of sexism with endorsements for females largely being based on prevailing standards of beauty, what those prevailing standards of beauty are, and who gets to determine them.