How To Be Perfect: Not Obnoxious

Obnoxious

How to be Perfect, but not obnoxious. It’ an art.

Welcome to How To Be Perfect; a no-nonsense advice* column from two women who know everything.

*We are “lifestyle experts” who have been trained by women’s magazines, men’s magazines, tabloids, celeb gossip and reality TV in the ways of the world. Advice need not be “good” in order for it to count as advice. Take it or leave it though you should probably leave it.

Todays: Query: Where is the line between being extremely obnoxious and being outgoing and friendly when meeting new people? What are sure signs you’ve gone wrong?


Bunny’s Advice:

The line between being extremely obnoxious and simply being outgoing depends upon who you are trying to impress. Not everyone has the same litmus test when it comes to obnoxicity.

Some people enjoy a restrained approach and would judge you for any outspokenness; others would look at the same demure behavior and declare you a milquetoasty smear of blandness.

So the answer is to never allow yourself to meet any “new” people. That’s right, you should vet all possible future acquaintances using social media before you decide how to proceed with presenting yourself. And don’t tell me that you can be surprised by a meeting! Upon being introduced, simply feign an important phone call after you get their name and google away in the bathroom. Duh.

This way you can control how people see you…and the world.


Ruby’s Advice:

Well, as a particularly harsh (AKA I’m a social elite) judge of obnoxiousness, I say that if you see people doing the moonwalk away from you, you’ve faux pas-ed.

Trust me, if people are fleeing your presence, it’s all your fault. All of it! It’s never that, say, they have to go to the bathroom. Jeez, where were you in pre-school where we learned these things?!

OK, OK, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps you’ve become confused over the years. Places like college, sporting events, and bars encourage extremely obnoxious behavior – ESPECIALLY if you are a white female. So I can see that society is sending you mixed messages. Being a teenager already guaranteed that you were wildly obnoxious, so you may have lost your radar too long ago.

Obnoxiousness takes many forms in life. I am, for example, extremely judgmental, which is exactly what I should be like as a perfect, well-off still young woman. If I was to go around and TELL people my very critical opinions about their failures, they would find me obnoxious, so I just hide them under my pursed lips and pointy nose. See? There’s a way to contain it.

Comments

comments

Bunny Themelis

Bunny Themelis is a Canadian-born, Baltimore-raised comedian, actress and writer. Her favorite topics include being Greek, pop culture and nerdy history facts. She lives in Baltimore with her hubby and dogs, Miss Toni and Zeus.

You may also like...

22 Responses

  1. December 8, 2017

    tumblr pictures

    […]The facts talked about inside the write-up are a few of the top available […]

  2. December 8, 2017

    Talverehvid Tallinnas

    […]we came across a cool web page that you simply may well love. Take a search in the event you want[…]

  3. December 8, 2017

    Flyttstadning Solna

    […]Every after inside a whilst we opt for blogs that we study. Listed beneath are the most up-to-date internet sites that we opt for […]

  4. December 8, 2017

    Oud Lessons

    […]the time to study or stop by the content material or web pages we have linked to below the[…]

  5. December 9, 2017

    Odavad rehvid

    […]that is the end of this article. Here you?ll uncover some websites that we believe you?ll enjoy, just click the hyperlinks over[…]

  6. December 9, 2017

    Tips ampuh memilih agen judi online

    […]one of our guests not long ago proposed the following website[…]

  7. December 9, 2017

    weddingcar

    […]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]

  8. December 9, 2017

    How to use masturbator

    […]very couple of web sites that happen to become in depth below, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively really worth checking out[…]

  9. December 10, 2017

    http://www.bebinak.com/result/????_??

    […]just beneath, are various totally not associated web pages to ours, even so, they are surely really worth going over[…]

  10. December 10, 2017

    http://www.bebinak.com/result/?????_???_????_??_?????

    […]we like to honor lots of other web web-sites around the net, even if they aren?t linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages worth checking out[…]

  11. December 10, 2017

    Title

    […]although internet sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we feel they are in fact really worth a go via, so have a look[…]

  12. December 10, 2017

    Title

    […]usually posts some very exciting stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]

  13. December 10, 2017

    male masturbator

    […]please stop by the internet sites we comply with, like this one particular, because it represents our picks through the web[…]

  14. December 10, 2017

    black lace prom dress

    […]one of our visitors a short while ago suggested the following website[…]

  15. December 10, 2017

    Carpet Cleaners Oxford

    […]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]

  16. December 10, 2017

    SEO GREECE

    […]Here is a good Weblog You might Locate Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]

  17. December 11, 2017

    Tangkas88

    […]very handful of websites that take place to become comprehensive below, from our point of view are undoubtedly very well really worth checking out[…]

  18. December 11, 2017

    Title

    […]very handful of internet sites that take place to be comprehensive below, from our point of view are undoubtedly nicely worth checking out[…]

  19. December 11, 2017

    top bd jobs online dialy

    […]please pay a visit to the web pages we follow, such as this a single, as it represents our picks through the web[…]

  20. December 11, 2017

    electronic media in Bangladesh

    […]just beneath, are various completely not related web-sites to ours, having said that, they are certainly worth going over[…]

  21. December 11, 2017

    video

    […]Here is an excellent Weblog You may Find Intriguing that we Encourage You[…]

  22. December 11, 2017

    web design

    […]always a big fan of linking to bloggers that I love but do not get quite a bit of link love from[…]

Leave a Reply