How To Be Perfect: Dating Dummies


KTB on dating dummies. She can barely tolerate the things coming out of his mouth.

Welcome to How To Be Perfect; a no-nonsense advice* column from two women who know everything.

 *We are “lifestyle experts” who have been trained by women’s magazines, men’s magazines, tabloids, celeb gossip and reality TV in the ways of the world. Advice need not be “good” in order for it to count as advice. Take it or leave it though you should probably leave it.

Todays: Query: I have been dating a guy who is very sweet and caring and he wants us to be official. I’m holding out a little as he is REALLY dumb and is interested in the douchiest things but is so handsome it makes me want to cry, so it’s quite the dilemma, but I want to smack him every other time he opens his mouth, help!

Ruby’s Advice:

Well, if you were truly perfect and amazing, you would have changed this man right away. He would have completely molded himself to your needs just because you were so awesome and beautiful. But it seems like you’re at an sub-80% perfect level, so you gotta take the slow route.

Girl, don’t worry about a thing. He wants to commit, right? Well, the beautiful truth is that as soon as a guy commits, you can begin changing him little by little. You say he’s really dumb? Well, train him (like a puppy!) to not open his mouth so much!

Those douchey things will fall by the way side as time passes. Make a negative criticism here, disapprove of something small there. Baby steps. Eventually he will be completely presentable.

Whatever you do, don’t let his ample negative traits stop you from sealing the deal. You don’t want to die old and alone, do you?


Bunny’s Advice:

It all depends on how old you are.

If you are young: you say this man is so handsome it makes you want to cry, then you must use him, abuse him and then lose him! Date him until you really can’t stand the sight of him anymore, then dump him via text.

However, if you are on the older side then you must hold on to this man for dear life. He may be stupid but you said he’s handsome, and if we women have learned anything from the menfolk it’s that looks are important! You may not get another chance with a handsome man.

Also, have you ever considered you are too boring and smart? I mean, perhaps thats the real problem: you are an elitist know-it-all and this pretty man deems you suitable for courtship, and you don’t appreciate it. You should be honored.



Bunny Themelis

Bunny Themelis is a Canadian-born, Baltimore-raised comedian, actress and writer. Her favorite topics include being Greek, pop culture and nerdy history facts. She lives in Baltimore with her hubby and dogs, Miss Toni and Zeus.

You may also like...

19 Responses

  1. December 8, 2017


    […]usually posts some extremely fascinating stuff like this. If you?re new to this site[…]

  2. December 8, 2017


    […]check beneath, are some completely unrelated sites to ours, on the other hand, they’re most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  3. December 9, 2017

    massage vibrator

    […]just beneath, are numerous completely not connected web sites to ours, even so, they’re certainly really worth going over[…]

  4. December 9, 2017

    Online Movies

    […]check below, are some absolutely unrelated internet websites to ours, nevertheless, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  5. December 9, 2017

    […]just beneath, are a lot of totally not associated sites to ours, having said that, they may be surely worth going over[…]

  6. December 9, 2017

    Promo menarik bermain tangkas online

    […]usually posts some incredibly interesting stuff like this. If you?re new to this site[…]

  7. December 10, 2017


    […]very few internet websites that occur to become in depth beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly properly really worth checking out[…]

  8. December 10, 2017

    wand vibrator

    […]just beneath, are a lot of absolutely not associated sites to ours, nevertheless, they’re surely worth going over[…]

  9. December 10, 2017

    how to get a six pack in a month

    […]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]

  10. December 10, 2017

    Read More

    […]The information mentioned inside the article are several of the ideal available […]

  11. December 10, 2017


    […]here are some links to internet sites that we link to because we assume they’re really worth visiting[…]

  12. December 10, 2017

    skin and laser clinic

    […]below you will come across the link to some websites that we feel it is best to visit[…]

  13. December 10, 2017

    ION Casino

    […]Here is a superb Blog You might Discover Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]

  14. December 11, 2017

    Bola Tangkas

    […]although sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not connected to ours, we really feel they are basically really worth a go by way of, so possess a look[…]

  15. December 11, 2017

    Bola Tangkas

    […]Here is a superb Weblog You might Obtain Interesting that we Encourage You[…]

  16. December 11, 2017


    […]please go to the web-sites we follow, including this 1, as it represents our picks in the web[…]

  17. December 11, 2017

    roll away dumpster rental

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a handful of unrelated data, nevertheless actually worth taking a look, whoa did one particular understand about Mid East has got a lot more problerms also […]

  18. December 11, 2017


    […]although websites we backlink to beneath are considerably not connected to ours, we really feel they may be basically really worth a go as a result of, so have a look[…]

  19. December 11, 2017

    waste disposal

    […]that will be the finish of this write-up. Here you?ll locate some websites that we feel you?ll enjoy, just click the links over[…]

Leave a Reply