Gemini by Dom O. Briggs

 
This poem is courtesy of Dom O. Briggs who is set to appear on our podcast next week.

Gemini (poem)

When I cry, the first tear always falls from my right eye
My emotions are unstable
The Gemini in me is selfish
I won’t tell you the last time I cried

But I can tell you
My tears weigh a ton
Glaciers avalanche from my tear ducts
Cold hearts always start out shattered

I am victim of that
I had a heart like a slippery Urn
No one ever could really hold on to it
Before it broke and left skeletons of ash on the ground

You ever wonder why their are so many cracks in the asphalt?
Hearts act as meteors
When they crash and burn
My Glacier tears become icy plaster

Every drop covering up the memory they were wasted on
One drop for all the weekends I sat at the door waiting for my father
One drop for my uncle’s death
Two drops for my unborn children that my first love lost from fighting

And I won’t wipe the melted ice from my face
I don’t want my hands numb
I have to hold my own
Because I don’t trust a lot

I hate to be embraced
Hugs feel like Global Warming
And I can’t afford to be loved into
A puddle

That’s why I don’t smoke
I vapor
To keep my cold heart
Lost in a mist

Its so hard to find yourself
When your lost in your own wintery world
Blinded by your flurry of a past
And stopped by your frost bit laziness

Only to have your soul well done over a fire of regret
The warmest thing in my body is my soul
Its black and bruised like jammed fingernails
And it reeks of puss and disaster

My rib cage was slammed on my hands when I tried to keep them warm
I think my heart did it
Because my hands can wipe my tears away
And my heart didn’t want to be warm and vulnerable

I don’t want to be warm and vulnerable
It feels like fist fighting a light bulb
With already numb hands
I can’t stand to have ice on my face

But you wouldn’t know this
Because the Gemini in me is selfish
So I won’t tell you the last time I cried
But I will tell you

I have a heart like a meat locker
A slaughterhouse in my chest
Whose claimed other vulnerable livestock
In the cold

Of my wintery world
I am sorry
For Jack Frost nipping at your soul
With my numb hands

I am numb to things sometimes
I don’t feel what others feel
My hands are novacane filled compasses
I am lost in my own wintery world

With no one to hold on to
Because I don’t trust a lot
I got the spirit of a redneck
Niggas make me sick

I can’t trust you as far as I can see you
And I can’t see that well
Maybe its from my flurry of past
Or the dead body behind my eyes

That we couldn’t seem to cover up
And decided to snow plow into the river
That river
That sits in my tear ducts

Not ready to be released
And go ice slide parachuting from my face
Until something bad happens and I cry
I drop three more tears for the three shots I sent to a rival drug dealer when I was thirteen

Sometimes my heart is like Pluto
A small cold dwarf planet that orbits alone
Far away from my sun like soul
The rebel in my constellation of organs

That is devalued and demoted
To the darkest corner of my chest cavity universe
When I cry
I relive the Big Bang

My emotions are unstable
The Gemini in me is selfish
I smile so you won’t know I’m having a bad day
And you won’t know when I cry cause you couldn’t handle the cold

Your hands will turn numb
And goosebump’s will cover your body
Like an avalanche
So, if you see me crying, hug me like a cabin fire

Hug me like you know I’ll resist
And maybe a couple sniffles down the road
My heart will unthaw
And I won’t be so cold

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