Attention, Men: Things That Don’t Impress Us

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There’s one thing I can guarantee about the game of dating: it’s completely different for everyone. There is no magical “line” that will win you any girl that you want, and there is no move a girl can use to swoon the man of her dreams if he’ just not interested in her. What brings a girl to her prince charming or a guy to his newfound queen will be different with absolutely every case. Duh, right? I mean, who didn’t know that? I’ve heard girls tell me that their boyfriend won them over by opening the door for them. Personally, I’m just happy if you’ll buy me dinner, and by dinner, I mean Chipotle (give me all the macros).

But there is one thing (well, a couple of things) that I can definitely say that DON’T spark our interest. There are some things that get thrown around the singles pool that get used, abused, and interpreted as something that can be played to lure in your desired mate. Maybe it’s magazines, word of mouth, or by some “once in a lifetime” observation that influences these “moves,” I don’t know. But, there are just some things that need to be stopped being used in the game of dating. And, being a girl, I can only speak for myself and my clan of females (sorry, ladies, I’ll one day ask a dude what doesn’t work for them).

SO GUYS. Here we go. You wanna get the girl or impress a sea of females? Well, I can’t tell you what to do. Every girl thinks different things are appealing. BUT, I can tell you about some of the biggest turn-offs in the game of dating life. Here’s what we’re not going to be impressed with (for the long term, at least).

How Much You Can Drink (or smoke)

Unless we’re about to get into a serious drinking competition or want to score some bud off of you, girls don’t care how much you can take before these substances knock you over. Hearing about how often you drink, how much you love weed, or how “wasted” you got last weekend is not a turn on. You could be a light weight or a straight-edge kid for all we care, but boasting about your social habits just shows us where your priorities lie. Relax, and sip that beer in silence.

Materialistic Possessions

This one’s heavily used among the single dude community, and honestly I’m quite annoyed with constantly hearing about how expensive your watch is or how much it cost to detail your new sports car (that you don’t need). Oh, you got VIP seats at the concert I struggled to score GA spots for? WOW. We so do not care. Bragging about the things you have and what you can afford is not attractive, but just arrogant and gross. It’s impressive that you can afford all of this, do not get me wrong, but don’t flaunt it like the rest of us want to hear about it. You’ll just go from “guy who has it semi-together” to “cocky douche.” Sorry not sorry.

Your Past Relationships

We do not care how many girls you have been with, how long they lasted, what damage they did, or how good they were in bed. Yeah, eventually we’ll want to know how capable you are of having a lasting relationship and yes, your past history will be a factor. BUT, right off the bat, please don’t bring these things up. Right now, we want to feel like the only girl on your mind. Heck, we’re the only girl on the planet for you. No need to dive into the past before you even think about paving a future with us.

How Perfect Your Body Is

May sound weird, right? Yeah, you’ll have a hard time finding someone that doesn’t enjoy a body that looks like it was worked for. Muscles are hot, and that’s undeniable. BUT… do not abuse your gift. Having a beautiful body will only catch our initial attention, and then you’re on your own from there. Plenty of people have six packs, tall figures, and perfect features, but using those factors to your only advantage will only get you so far. Flashing your abs in public or constantly being “that guy” that somehow is missing his shirt by the end of the night is not arousing or appealing, it’s annoying. Less is more, and modesty is appreciated.

Complaining About Your Faults

And lastly, most importantly, and most annoyingly deemed, please do not harp on and on about things about yourself that are less than perfect. Having to hear about how much it sucks to be short, how unattractive your face is, or how much you wish you had better genetics is by far the biggest turn off there is. We get it, we see you, and we’re getting to know your flaws as we get to know you. There is no need to remind us about what’s “wrong” with you, because hey, we all have our issues. But, by telling us, over and over, we’re only going to see one flaw that you forgot to throw in there: a level of extreme insecurity. We’re not going to stand there and reassure you that what you think is true, we’re just going to count down until this sob story is over. Maybe we thought that feature was cute… but now you ruined it.

So, I’m not going to say I’m speaking for all women here, because let’s face it: we all have our own standards, but I will stand confident in knowing that these tendencies are not favored by most ladies out there. After countless conversations with my gal-pals and even some guys, I’m pretty sure that these methods are not the best one’s to use in your dating pursuits. Be offended, take it for a grain of salt, or take what I say into account, I don’t really care… but at least always treat your women with respect.

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Rachel Jimenez

An Exercise Science major at USF with a love for dance, food, and sarcastic banter. Oh, and she was gluten free before it was cool. instagram: @sassycalves twitter: @itsraayy

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